There are 3 things to consider when managing a difficult or painful change in life otherwise you’ll be wondering why you may be going round and round in circles wondering why nothing seems to be different.  The three things to consider include what is naturally within us, what grows within us and man-made influences. 

The first consideration is our genetical makeup.

Our bodies are amazing chemical machines that are easily taken for granted but at the same time, we know little about. Our genetic makeup is a unique combination coming from our parents' DNA giving us our physical and biological traits, such as our appearance. The other part of our DNA will determine our susceptibility to certain inherent health conditions such as heart disease, cancer, and stroke for example.

The second consideration is what naturally grows within us.

Before we are even born we’re soaking up information around us.  When we are an 18 week foetus, we can start to hear what is happening in the outside world.  What our mothers are eating we are also eating. How our mother is feeling will influence how we are feeling due to the production of dopamine and serotonin in the bloodstream. At birth and as we grow up we’re looking around us, hearing the different sounds, the ones we liked and the ones we didn’t.  We are influenced by our parent's or caregiver's parenting styles. Everything around us influences us whether we realise it or not and this feeds our mind, body and soul.  Our conscious and subconscious levels are keeping score as to what we like or dislike and why.  Everything that we’re exposed to develops our sense of being, who we are and why.  We are just like sponges soaking everything up and then reacting to it. 

The third consideration is the manmade stuff.

Our mind, body and soul are influenced by what is going around us.  All three are connected. A weakness or imbalance in one will negatively affect the other. What we watch, listen to and read influences our world.  Our lifestyle habits, our environment, how we perceive ourselves and how we think others perceive us as well as our ability to access good healthcare.  All of these can influence or interfere with our belief systems, confidence and self-esteem levels, and self-worth.  When we’re going through difficult or painful change we can lose sight of our values, and goals and doing what is right for ourselves, nearest and dearest. 

Mind Body Soul working in balance

So how do we manage these 3 considerations?

It’s important to understand that some things can’t be changed such as our ancestry but acknowledging, accepting and managing how you feel about it is a major step forward.

Inherent health disorders can be influenced to a certain extent by adjusting our lifestyle and environment for example.

With technology and great medical science, we change our appearance and gender.

It’s a fine balancing act that needs to be created between your mind, body and soul to achieve a healthy wellness to manage difficult and painful change.  This will be achieved by listening and understanding your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical self.

Learning to understand your mood and energy levels can help you decipher what your body is telling you.  You can then begin to adjust them by knowing what you want instead.

You can start to work on deep-rooted thoughts, feelings and behaviours by learning, understanding and discovering where they come from, what you want that’s different to what you’ve got and why.

Setting yourself new goals to work towards and of course, taking action so you can keep moving towards them.

Ultimately, the healing intention includes the belief that healing and well-being will occur. If you don’t truly believe that you can be healed, you don’t deserve to be healed, or if some part of you is holding onto the disease or condition, you might disrupt or limit your capacity to heal on a subconscious level.

Our minds, body and soul are amazing parts of us that can uplift us right up into the sky but can ultimately drag us down into the depths of despair. 

However difficult life might be for you right now, where do you want to be?

Don’t underestimate yourself! By developing a healing intention, you can set the stage for healing to occur.

3 things to consider when managing difficult or painful change:

  • What needs to be acknowledged and accepted for what it is?
  • What can you have an influence over whether you like it or not?
  • What are you going to start doing about it and when?
One More Thing

I would like to add one final note, you will have your goals and aims but sometimes something happens, and we need to be flexible and adjust so you can adapt and overcome.


Let's talk about how I can support you and help you end the sadness to restore happiness back into you life.

About the Author

Cath Lloyd

British TEDx Speaker, life coach and author of “When Dad Became Joan” with her second booking coming out at the end of 2023, Cath Lloyd was a shy and unconfident student at school. Learning from her life experiences has developed her confidence, enabling her to share her voice, ideas, thoughts and feelings.

Cath has spoken on local radio, Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour as well as many podcast shows. Cath is promoting the importance of self-honesty to learn and understand yourself. The other is, communication is one of the keys to keeping your emotional, mental, and physical balance and keeping family life running more smoothly.

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