Transitioning In Families

Cath Lloyd and Leyla Okha

TEDx Wolverhampton 2022

"Children of Transgender Parents Need Support Too"

All members of a transgender family need to have their voices heard.  For transgender families to stay together people need to realise that the whole family is involved and it isn't just the person going through gender dysphoria. All families go through their ups and downs but for transgender families, it will put real pressure on them.  This, however, doesn't mean to say they can't be happy again.  With all the right support, stop playing the victim we can get over our own ego.  We are all human beings, we all have thoughts and feelings that need to be considered and respected.  If we don't learn from self-honesty what are the long term effects on the relationships that are important to us?

Karen Kelly from Appetite for Life

Karen Kelly from Appetite for Life delves straight into why supporting transgender families is so important in my life especially with this being a taboo subject back in the 1980’s.   

I share with Karen’s audience the effects of having to keep my Dad’s change a secret and the long term affects of carrying the weight for so long.  We discuss the bereavement cycle attached to the change of gender and the challenge of processing the information and our thoughts and feelings. 

Life going through change feels like a long-drawn-out process but it is put in place for a reason before any major surgery is undertaken.

We end our discussion with the importance of support for everyone during this process to make the transition as smooth as possible.

Understanding the complex views on gender identity and transgender issues

Omobola Stephens and I discuss transgender issues. Our conversation delves into the incongruent feelings people with gender dysphoria are struggling with and why it happens.

I share with Omobola’s audience why the whole family is affected and that support for everyone is needed. The ideological importance for the transgender community isn’t just down to the government and will be a long-term project. 

As individuals we can support ourselves by understanding our difficult thoughts and feelings better. If we do this, we are better equipment for other change that will come into our life making it easier to manage and come out the other side.

How To Deal with The Sh*t Life Throws At You!

We all have tough times in life.Some of these times are worse than others.

Do you ever look at other’s and think, ‘how on earth are they managing and get through it’?

I know in the past I have thought those exact words but I have also learnt how to use one trauma to help me get through the next.

This session is about helping you to understand yourself better. 

 I will explain why it is important to learn from these traumatic times so you are better prepared for the next one that will come along.

I also share an insight into why I had to begin to understand myself better and two questions you can ask yourself to help change your train of thought and mindset.

The Ripple Effect of Decisions. Sonia Personne’s Real Relationships Podcast, 2020

Listen To Interview

Cath talks with Sonia Personne about how her relationship with her father changed when he announced that he was going to undertake gender reassignment treatment in 1987.

 Cath explains how this announcement affected her personally, the struggles she went through and how she began to alter her mindset to bring her relationship back to healthy with herself and her trans mum.

Radio Plus Coventry: Health and Wellbeing Show With Christine Charles, 2020

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Cath talks with Christine and Andy about how setting goals doesn’t only have to be started at New Year.  Cath explains why being realistic about working towards what you want to achieve is so important for your success in life.

BBC Radio 4 Women’s Hour, 2019

This conversation between 3 daughter’s voice their father’s gender reassignment and their relationship with their parent. 

This conversation shows how times have changed since 1987 when Cath found out that her Dad wanted to undergo gender reassignment.

Ordinary People with Sonia Poleon on Colourful Radio, 2018

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Cath talks with Sonia about her working life teaching in prison but also about life with her transgender father. Cath talks openly about life in 1987 after her father announced that he needed to change gender and how this affected the whole family.

Life With Your Transgender Dad – BBC Radio Hereford and Worcester, 2018

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When something unexpected happens in your life it can be difficult to come to terms with. Cath talks about how her life, in 1987, changed after he Dad announced that he wanted to become a women. 

 She talks openly about how she found it difficult to come to terms with but then explains how she started to address this.