We all have individual levels of emotions.  Some will naturally be more willing than others to show their emotions and wear their hearts on their sleeve: not be frightened to reap the 8 benefits of crying.  While others are going to want to keep their emotions to themselves. What has been taught and what is natural within ourselves is difficult to say unless you have a good understanding of the upbringing and individual characteristic of people.

Finding out your parent or another relative has decided to undergo gender reassignment treatment is an emotional matter.  The thing is we are told that we should embrace this change, that they are still the same person and can often feel that we are a bad person if we are struggling to adjust.  There is a big difference between the struggle to adjust and turning your back on this person.  The certainty is if these feelings are allowed to build up and are not addressed you will feel the burden of them developing into anxiety and stress.

Why don’t people allow themselves to cry?

A lot of people are frightened to cry because they think it is showing a weakness. Perhaps they were told when they were growing up that they should “control themselves”, “stop being a baby” and “be strong”. Unfortunately, being told this can have an impact on how we perceive ourselves as well as how we think others will perceive us. The result will create a lot of excess anxiety and stress that can then be a problem to manage.

However, the fear of crying can create a great deal of anxiety and stress within us because we can feel that, if we start crying, we might never stop. If some of these ideas resonate with you, perhaps it is time to start looking at it in a different way and use the benefits of crying as an advantage instead.

Look At Crying In A Different Way

All emotions and feelings are a form of energy. Once the heightened energy levels have been allowed to release it subsides and you will begin to feel your normal self again.

The problem comes, of course, if you don’t allow yourself to release these feelings, instead you are keeping them tightly wrapped or sweeping them under the carpet. If you imagine a saucepan of milk being heated up. You can watch it for what feels like ages, and it appears that nothing is happening. You take your eye off it for a minute and before you know it the milk has boiled up all over, leaving behind a horrible mess. The tightly controlled anxious thoughts and feelings will appear to be under wraps but if unaddressed will boil over when you least expect it. Keeping your body under constant anxiety and stress in this way will raise your blood pressure.  Therefore one benefit of crying is restoring your blood pressure to more normal levels.

The Benefits To Crying.

If you feel like crying let it happen. Crying is designed to allow us to release the anxiety and stress that we are feeling so that we can get on with life more easily. The fact that tears are made up of stress hormones that rise in periods of anxiety and stress indicates that crying is also about balancing the natural chemicals that are produced in our bodies. These chemicals include:

  • Adrenocorticotropic Hormone (Stress Hormone)
  • Protaction (Protein)
  • Leucine Enkephalin (Pain Killer)
  • Oxytocin and Endorphines
  • Magnesium, which helps to regulate mood

Crying is:

  • Your body’s natural way to self sooth
  • Detoxifies the body
  • Dulls physical and emotional pain
  • Improves your mood
  • Let’s other people know you need support
  • Supports the grieving process
  • Helps restore physical and emotional balance
  • Helps oxygenate the body’s other people know you need support

Crying is not a weakness but a signal that you need to allow yourself to change something. This change is about giving yourself permission to express yourself in a natural way and it is going to be OK. Release those feelings, allow them to flow and then you are in a stronger position to be able to get on with life without the burden that you are carrying.

What If I Want To Cry But Can’t?

At other times you may have the feelings of wanting to cry but cannot quite get to the emotional level for the tears to start flowing. There are two ways of handling this which are entirely personal and trial and error.

I’m sure we all have a film, poem or a piece of music that makes us feel very emotional. Watch that film, read the poem or listen to that piece of music that triggers your emotional balance and allow it to do its job.


Distract yourself with something else, a hobby, uplifting music to sing along or dance to, getting physically active to get the endorphins flowing. Get out in the fresh air to help you clear your head. Changing your mindset is a great way to move in a different direction with your thoughts and feelings.

What’s Wrong With Me If I Really Can’t Cry?

The problem comes when you just can’t cry. Everyone is different and have different levels of emotional release. For other’s it may mean that they have subconsciously put up a mental barrier because of something that has happened in your past. This usually happens for self-protection from showing vulnerability and concerns of being overpowered by someone or something else.  However, overpowering it might seem to you at the time you will not be alone. There will be an awful lot of other people in close proximity to you that will have experienced or are experiencing the similar thoughts and feelings. And like you, they are keeping them to themselves because they are frightened about their feelings too.

Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, understand them, don’t be ashamed of them, take control of them so you can change them into something else. Something more …… user friendly.  And, if you want to, allow yourself to gain the benefits of crying.

I help people with gender dysphoria remove the barriers of communication with their families.  In my work I speak to a lot or people who are struggling to adjust to their parent or child’s openness about their trans sexual feelings and the need for them to start the gender reassignment process.  You may be interested in reading another article about change.

Emotions can be difficult to handle when they feel as if they are controlling you.  But you don’t have to struggle and carry this burden on your own. Take the control back into your life so that you can understand those frightening feelings.  Use the link below to arrange a 30 minute chat with me about how I can support you through this mind field of uncertainty.

Book Your 30 Minute Chat Here

Imagine what life could be like if you were able to release the burden of those excessive feelings.

About the Author

Cath Lloyd

British TEDx Speaker, life coach and author of “When Dad Became Joan” with her second booking coming out at the end of 2023, Cath Lloyd was a shy and unconfident student at school. Learning from her life experiences has developed her confidence, enabling her to share her voice, ideas, thoughts and feelings.

Cath has spoken on local radio, Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour as well as many podcast shows. Cath is promoting the importance of self-honesty to learn and understand yourself. The other is, communication is one of the keys to keeping your emotional, mental, and physical balance and keeping family life running more smoothly.

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