If you're struggling to forgive someone who hurt you, you're not alone.
Maybe they betrayed your trust, broke your heart, or said something you can’t forget. The pain is real and it lingers feeling like a crater in your heart.

Forgiveness might feel impossible right now. But what if it's actually the key to your healing?

If you're holding onto pain and forgiveness feels out of reach, you're not alone. Forgiveness matters because you matter but let’s have a look at how you can begin, even if your heart isn’t ready just yet.

Why Should You Forgive?

First, let’s be clear:
Forgiving someone doesn't mean what they did was okay. It doesn’t mean you have to forget, or let them back into your life. Forgiveness is not about excusing their behaviour.

So, what is it about?

It’s about setting yourself free.

When you hold on to anger, resentment, or pain, those emotions keep living inside you. They steal your peace, cloud your mind, and slow your healing.

Forgiveness says:

“I choose to stop carrying this pain. I deserve peace.”

You forgive not because they deserve it—but because you do.

How Do You Forgive Someone Who Hurt You?

Forgiveness is a process. It takes courage, patience, and a lot of self-compassion. Here’s how to start:

1. Acknowledge the Pain

Don’t pretend you’re okay if you’re not. Denying the pain won’t make it go away—it will just push it deeper.
Let yourself feel what you feel. Talk about it. Journal it. Cry if you need to.
This is the beginning of healing – to release the burden.

2. Take Your Time

You don’t have to forgive overnight. It’s not a race.
Some wounds take longer than others to heal. Give yourself permission to not be ready if you need to, as long as you stay open to the possibility of forgiving one day.

3. Make the Choice to Forgive

Eventually, you’ll come to a moment where you say:

“I’m ready to stop letting this hurt control me.”

That’s the turning point.

Forgiveness isn’t a feeling—it’s a decision. You may still feel pain afterward, but the decision to forgive is the first step toward emotional freedom.

4. Try to Understand (If You Can)

You don’t need to excuse what they did. But sometimes, trying to understand where their behaviour came from can help you let go of the anger.

Maybe they were acting out of fear, immaturity, or pain of their own. Maybe they didn’t even realize how deeply they hurt you.

Understanding isn’t required—but it can soften the edge of resentment.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries

You can forgive someone and still choose not to let them back into your life.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconnection. It means you’ve released the grip they had on your emotions.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do—for both of you—is to keep a safe distance.

6. Let Go, Bit by Bit

Forgiveness doesn’t always come all at once. Sometimes, you have to release the pain little by little through communicating with your inner self.

You can:

• Write a letter you never send

• Say out loud, “I release this hurt”

• Pray or meditate on peace

• Talk to someone you trust

• Even small steps are still steps forward.

7. Repeat as Needed

Sometimes the memory comes back. The anger creeps in again.
That’s okay.

You may have to choose forgiveness again and again. Over time, the pain will lose its power. The memory may stay—but the sting can fade.

You Deserve Peace

Forgiving someone who hurt you is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do—but it’s also one of the most freeing.

You’re not weak for being hurt.
You’re not weak for struggling to forgive.
In fact, the very fact that you're trying shows how strong you really are.

So take a deep breath.

Put your hand on your heart
Give yourself grace.
And remember: You are not forgiving for their sake. You’re forgiving for yours.

Because you are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of healing.
And you are worthy of a life no longer defined by pain.

When you are ready, allow yourself to release the burden you have been carrying.

Forgiveness doesn’t change the past, but it does change the future – your future by giving yourself more love, more emotional freedom so that you feel excited about waking up each day and enjoy the sunshine on your face and hear the birds again. 

Are you ready to start making this change in your life?